One of the hottest topics to hit the news in recent weeks has been on the subject
of making Happiness part of how we define the success of our nation. This is
no small thing.
Until recently, happiness was often treated as a touchy-feely subject by the media
and the government, fun for a newspaper or TV story, but no more than a filler item.
Against such a back-drop, The Happiness Project championed the need to have conversations
about happiness, for individuals, for relationships, and for true work and life success.
As part of the Happiness Project, Dr Robert Holden created an 8-week program to teach people to become happier. In 1996 the BBC aired the QED documentary "How to Be Happy" which charted the progress of several of the program's delegates. Seen by millions, this successful documentary was also part of a live Oprah Television Show in 2007 with Robert as the main feature.
In 2011 the work of The Happiness Project continues to shape thinking on how we can all help each other to be happier, and to create real meaning and success in our lives. Together with Success Intelligence, The Happiness Project has inspired countless thousands of people in learning tools and exercises to help them create happier and more meaningful ways of living and working.
Is it possible to become happier? Thankfully, yes it is. Is it possible to coach each other on how to become happier? Yes it is!
The Happiness Project has recently completed a one week course on coaching people
who wish to help themselves and others to be happier. The outcome? A stunning success. Based on 17 years of running a program famously tested by independent scientists and,
hailed as a 'genuine fast-track to happiness', the course gave 60 people the space, the opportunity and the exercises, to get clear on what happiness is for them, what supports it, what nurtures it and what sustains it.
Such is the success of this program, it is now going to be run for the very first time outside of the UK in New York this November, in conjunction with Hay House (Robert's publisher). Is this program for everyone? I would say it is for those who wish to experience a deeper, lasting joy and, to be able to share it with others.
What would you gain from joining this program? Well here are a couple of reflections
Kay Cook - Coaching Happiness Testimonial at www.YouTube.com
Louise Magee - Coaching Happiness Testimonial at www.YouTube.com
Emma Cousens - Coaching Happiness Testimonial at www.YouTube.com
Annie Blampied - Coaching Happiness Testimonial at www.YouTube.com
As cynical as we may be at first, times are definitely changing, and the first fledgling steps
are being taken by both Action for Happiness and the UK Government in conjunction with The Office for National Statistics, to make happiness a metric and a compass for our society. In addition, there is a London Conference on How to be Happy, on Saturday May 7th, where Robert will be the keynote speaker. Happiness is now here at last!
Ultimately, your own happiness is your gift to the world, and in sharing your happiness with others, you help to bring joy, peace, fun and love to the world and thus, truly make a difference.
May you be happy.
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
No Complaints by Ben Renshaw
How much time do you spend in the complaints department of your life? I started this year with a personal assignment – no complaints in 2011. Now I’m not going to start complaining about how tough this challenge is for myself, however I am going to share three ways to support the journey if you so wish to join me.
The idea of no complaints occurred a couple of years when I was attending an Enneagram retreat in America with our much loved teachers Don Riso and Russ Hudson, www.enneagraminstitute.com. I was there in the company of my great friends Robert Holden and Avril Carson. At one point in the programme I was sharing some of my dilemmas with the group when Don challenged me to reflect upon the truth of my life. He asked me to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to the following type of questions, ‘Do I have a family who love me?’ ‘Do I do work I love?’ ‘Do I work with a team I love?’ ‘Do I enjoy good health?’ The questions continued. Unfortunately the only answer I could give to every question was a wholehearted ‘YES’. This did not bear well for my addiction to complaining. Back at that point Don gave me the assignment to stop complaining for 30 days. I can’t remember exactly how long I lasted but it was not an inspiring performance.
Coming into 2011 I conducted a health-check of my life. I have an amazing family with 3 gorgeous kids. I am blessed with the work I do in the world. I spend time with a great team at The Happiness Project. I realised I have nothing ‘real’ to complain about. However, I still found the temptation to moan strong. It was time to recommit to no complaints. Thankfully I’ve got friends who really want to help me with this assignment so it came as a welcome gift when Robert presented me with a book entitled ‘A Complaint Free World’, with an accompanying purple bracelet to wear. The goal is to go for 21 days without making any internal, or external complaints! If you do catch yourself complaining you’ve got to switch wrists with the bracelet. I have yet to spend an entire day with the bracelet on one wrist, however I am determined that by the end of 2011 it will be living happily on my right arm.
The experience of no complaints is one of the most powerful assignments I have ever undertaken. It feels like I am living in a permanent state of heightened awareness. I recognise that almost every thought I have has the potential to be a complaint. Here is an opportunity to really clean up my act and start a new level of gratitude for the world.
If the idea of stopping complaining resonates with you I suggest the following 3 ideas to support you along the way:
1. Tell your partner, a friend or team member. It’s too hard to do it on your own. Make sure at least one trusted person is in the know so that they can help keep you on track.
2. Wear a complaint free world bracelet. Go visit www.acomplaintfreeworld.org. However, be aware that it takes 7-14 days to arrive. When one of my friends went to order one she complained that it took too long to arrive, which was not a great start!
3. Write down one gratitude a day. Gratitude is the perfect antidote to complaining plus there is more and more research that shows gratitude is a shortcut to happiness www.actionforhappiness.com
Let me know how it goes! Ben
The idea of no complaints occurred a couple of years when I was attending an Enneagram retreat in America with our much loved teachers Don Riso and Russ Hudson, www.enneagraminstitute.com. I was there in the company of my great friends Robert Holden and Avril Carson. At one point in the programme I was sharing some of my dilemmas with the group when Don challenged me to reflect upon the truth of my life. He asked me to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to the following type of questions, ‘Do I have a family who love me?’ ‘Do I do work I love?’ ‘Do I work with a team I love?’ ‘Do I enjoy good health?’ The questions continued. Unfortunately the only answer I could give to every question was a wholehearted ‘YES’. This did not bear well for my addiction to complaining. Back at that point Don gave me the assignment to stop complaining for 30 days. I can’t remember exactly how long I lasted but it was not an inspiring performance.
Coming into 2011 I conducted a health-check of my life. I have an amazing family with 3 gorgeous kids. I am blessed with the work I do in the world. I spend time with a great team at The Happiness Project. I realised I have nothing ‘real’ to complain about. However, I still found the temptation to moan strong. It was time to recommit to no complaints. Thankfully I’ve got friends who really want to help me with this assignment so it came as a welcome gift when Robert presented me with a book entitled ‘A Complaint Free World’, with an accompanying purple bracelet to wear. The goal is to go for 21 days without making any internal, or external complaints! If you do catch yourself complaining you’ve got to switch wrists with the bracelet. I have yet to spend an entire day with the bracelet on one wrist, however I am determined that by the end of 2011 it will be living happily on my right arm.
The experience of no complaints is one of the most powerful assignments I have ever undertaken. It feels like I am living in a permanent state of heightened awareness. I recognise that almost every thought I have has the potential to be a complaint. Here is an opportunity to really clean up my act and start a new level of gratitude for the world.
If the idea of stopping complaining resonates with you I suggest the following 3 ideas to support you along the way:
1. Tell your partner, a friend or team member. It’s too hard to do it on your own. Make sure at least one trusted person is in the know so that they can help keep you on track.
2. Wear a complaint free world bracelet. Go visit www.acomplaintfreeworld.org. However, be aware that it takes 7-14 days to arrive. When one of my friends went to order one she complained that it took too long to arrive, which was not a great start!
3. Write down one gratitude a day. Gratitude is the perfect antidote to complaining plus there is more and more research that shows gratitude is a shortcut to happiness www.actionforhappiness.com
Let me know how it goes! Ben
Sunday, 13 February 2011
Valentine's Day: Loving Everyone
Happy Valentine’s Day to you. Traditionally, Valentine’s Day is the day we show our love to one special person in our life. This is a lovely thing to do. That said, I feel that Valentine’s Day would be even lovelier if we made it a day to show our love to everyone in our life. Everyone must also include our self too. Maybe we could start a new tradition. Starting from today. Below is a short poem called “Loving Everyone.”
If you want to find someone
to love,
I recommend you start
loving everyone
immediately.
Love will find you if you are
being the love
that
you
are.
If you want to learn how
to love someone
with all your
heart,
I advise you to fall in love
with everyone
a little bit
more.
Loving everyone is the key
to loving
someone.
And if you want someone
to love you
more,
I urge you to get on with it,
and to start
loving yourself.
Someone has to do it.
It may as well be you.
Show us how it is done.
So that you make it easy
for us to love
you too.
Monday, 31 January 2011
The Drama of Authenticity
“When do I feel most authentic?” This is the question I have been asking myself over the last week, in preparation for a workshop I am presenting tomorrow (Feb 1st, in Central London) with Ben Renshaw and Avril Carson called Authentic Success. Each day, for the last seven days, I have set aside 15 minutes to stop, be still, and sit with the question, “When do I feel most authentic?” Each time, I found the first five minutes or so to be very difficult: my mind would go blank, my heart wouldn’t register any feelings, and my body would get fidgety. I noticed I’d try to convince myself to cut short the fifteen minutes. Maybe I could read some inspirational quotations on authenticity instead. Someone else can do this for me.
Authenticity feels so natural, so why isn’t it easy? As I continued to sit with my inquiry, I gradually made contact with myself. It’s like I’d been away from myself, but I didn’t know it, not until just now: caught up in the habits of my personality; thinking thoughts all day long; busily trying to be someone; and putting on a face for all the other faces out there. Who is the real me? Not the personality that is manufactured in the world. The real me. Not the empty self that always wants something. The real me. Not a tinned version of a soul. The real me.
I kept sitting. I did not leave myself. I wanted to know my real thoughts. I wanted to feel my heart. I wanted to breathe more deeply again. My inquiry into “When do I feel most authentic?” felt frustrating and delightful; mysterious and illuminating; healing and joyful. I have long believed that being authentic is the key to success, happiness, love and all good things; but I have also experienced the fear of authenticity and so on. Such is the drama of authenticity. Such Is our daily challenge; and our daily choice. Success is recognizing who you really are; and happiness is letting yourself be you.
I hand the inquiry over to you now. When do you feel most authentic? Don’t let anyone else do your homework for you. Take fifteen minutes to stop, be still, and make contact with yourself.
Saturday, 7 August 2010
Arise and Shine by Ian Lynch
Its another day, the light has come, the birds have sung, and the alarm clock has chimed. In this twilight moment, how do you respond? Is it a snooze button press, an extra duvet dive or a yippee, bounce out of bed hurrah?! Personally, it varies for me, depending on the demands of the day to come or perhaps the excesses of the night before. What I do know, is that how I spend that first half an hour of the waking day will have an extraordinary effect on the way my day unfolds.
In this first opening phase, I am still present to my waking dreams, which often carry messages for me of hidden concerns and blockers in my life, as well as the seeds for solutions to them and new opportunities for me as a result. When I can, this is priceless time to write down my thoughts, echoing the 'Morning Pages' prescribed by the Creative Artist author, Julia Cameron . Here, over time, lies some of the key issues and desires to help live a greater life. There are pearls of wisdom, patterns of behavior, fears and doubts, and beautiful ideas all pouring out onto the page.
Doing this immediately is not always easy, and two cats jumping on the bed and howling for their breakfast, often make for a sensible compromise of cat food, bathroom, cup of tea and back to bed to sit up and write. In doing so, I feel that the night can be put to bed, so to speak, and that I start to feel excitement and meaning for this day ahead coursing through me. I am energized, though still a little tired.
Next up, the shower awaits. It is a ritual for me, and a way of really getting going. In this wonderful space lies the opportunity to be bathed in hot streams of powerfully jetted water that awakens my skin, and also my mind. It is time to be refreshed and inspired for the day. What is so interesting, is that that shower is often a moment to think about how I will be during the day.
It is uncanny, but if I am feeling tired and not on my best form, I can influence this simply by deciding from 1 to 10, how happy I choose to be today. This simple question makes me smile, for even on a day when I feel fit and energized, I notice that I don't choose higher than a 9, usually going for either a 7, 8 or 9! I guess I am still holding back something. However, if I had simply rushed into the day, which I have done many many times, my day would most likely have turned out to be a 5 or 6. By choosing a 9, I watch myself being kinder, lighter, less judgmental, more open, and much more likely to be present, than I would have been otherwise. My day is by virtue of this choice, a richer and happier experience. Why not try it yourself, just for today?
By coincidence, if there is such a thing, I had fun talking with Roger Crabb of the shower manufacturer Mira Showers, about some recent research his firm had conducted on how showering can effect our mood, and also gives us some of our best thoughts and ideas. It is sometimes surprising when talking with CEO's, that the boardroom does not always score so highly as the place for grand thinking and vision! Together, Roger and I got to discuss this fact, and I shared with him 5 simple tips from our work at The Happiness Project, that help bring more happiness to the day. A happy life is born from living each day well, and to help anyone be even happier, our annual Be Happy program, run once a year in London (the next one starting in October), is a fast-track to a happier life. After all, it is what we all want, to be happy.
And just for fun, the next time you take a shower, whether first thing in the morning to awaken or in the evening as a de-stressor and relaxant before bedtime, do so with consciousness. Just how happy do you wish to be today or tomorrow, from 1 to 10?
How will you interact with other people to be at this level of happiness?
What would it be like to be one point higher, just for fun and personal research?
As Robert has often said, 'today will never happen again', so what is there to lose?!
In this first opening phase, I am still present to my waking dreams, which often carry messages for me of hidden concerns and blockers in my life, as well as the seeds for solutions to them and new opportunities for me as a result. When I can, this is priceless time to write down my thoughts, echoing the 'Morning Pages' prescribed by the Creative Artist author, Julia Cameron . Here, over time, lies some of the key issues and desires to help live a greater life. There are pearls of wisdom, patterns of behavior, fears and doubts, and beautiful ideas all pouring out onto the page.
Doing this immediately is not always easy, and two cats jumping on the bed and howling for their breakfast, often make for a sensible compromise of cat food, bathroom, cup of tea and back to bed to sit up and write. In doing so, I feel that the night can be put to bed, so to speak, and that I start to feel excitement and meaning for this day ahead coursing through me. I am energized, though still a little tired.
Next up, the shower awaits. It is a ritual for me, and a way of really getting going. In this wonderful space lies the opportunity to be bathed in hot streams of powerfully jetted water that awakens my skin, and also my mind. It is time to be refreshed and inspired for the day. What is so interesting, is that that shower is often a moment to think about how I will be during the day.
It is uncanny, but if I am feeling tired and not on my best form, I can influence this simply by deciding from 1 to 10, how happy I choose to be today. This simple question makes me smile, for even on a day when I feel fit and energized, I notice that I don't choose higher than a 9, usually going for either a 7, 8 or 9! I guess I am still holding back something. However, if I had simply rushed into the day, which I have done many many times, my day would most likely have turned out to be a 5 or 6. By choosing a 9, I watch myself being kinder, lighter, less judgmental, more open, and much more likely to be present, than I would have been otherwise. My day is by virtue of this choice, a richer and happier experience. Why not try it yourself, just for today?
By coincidence, if there is such a thing, I had fun talking with Roger Crabb of the shower manufacturer Mira Showers, about some recent research his firm had conducted on how showering can effect our mood, and also gives us some of our best thoughts and ideas. It is sometimes surprising when talking with CEO's, that the boardroom does not always score so highly as the place for grand thinking and vision! Together, Roger and I got to discuss this fact, and I shared with him 5 simple tips from our work at The Happiness Project, that help bring more happiness to the day. A happy life is born from living each day well, and to help anyone be even happier, our annual Be Happy program, run once a year in London (the next one starting in October), is a fast-track to a happier life. After all, it is what we all want, to be happy.
And just for fun, the next time you take a shower, whether first thing in the morning to awaken or in the evening as a de-stressor and relaxant before bedtime, do so with consciousness. Just how happy do you wish to be today or tomorrow, from 1 to 10?
How will you interact with other people to be at this level of happiness?
What would it be like to be one point higher, just for fun and personal research?
As Robert has often said, 'today will never happen again', so what is there to lose?!
Thursday, 28 January 2010
Daily Express: Discover Your Joyful Side
The DAILY EXPRESS published an article today, “10 Steps to Happiness”, that outlines my (Robert Holden) ten tips for facing Blue Monday, the economic recession, and for rediscovering your joyful side. Here is the article in full. Enjoy.
UNTIL recently psychologists dismissed happiness as a “pleasurable emotion with no evolutionary value”. The theory was happiness feels good but it isn’t useful. However research reveals happiness has a powerful effect on the brain that helps you to think broadly, to come up with creative solutions and makes you generally more resilient.
In short happiness helps you to bring out the best in yourself. Follow my tips below to rediscover your joyful side.
1 The big rethink
Real, enduring happiness cannot be bought. Research confirms that money is important for basic needs like food, rent and clothes. However the link between higher income and increased happiness has been described in one study as “surprisingly weak” and “virtually negligible”. In fact a third of all millionaires are less happy than the national average.
2 Have a reality check
Work out what is truly important to you. Research shows people with consistently high happiness scores prioritise their life according to the things they value. They’ve worked out what is most important to them and don’t allow themselves to get sidetracked.
3 Do you need more?
In recent decades our purchasing power has more than doubled which means we can afford to buy more stuff than ever and yet more stuff hasn’t made us happier. To be happy you have to know what you really want. After all, you can never have enough of what you didn’t want in the first place. True happiness isn’t a thing or a commodity, it’s something you cultivate and share.
4 Discover life’s riches
Money is important but it is not everything. Make a list of everything in your life that is more precious to you than money. Think also about everything you already have that money can’t buy. Obvious examples are family, friends, health, laughter, creative hobbies, your imagination and spirituality.
5 Be positive
Research shows that life circumstances influence your happiness by only 10 per cent in the long-term. Obviously life events have a short-term effect. A loss of job or divorce can be devastating. Winning the lottery or falling in love can be wonderful at least initially but the key to being happy in the long‑term is not circumstances but attitude. Set an intention to enjoy today 10 per cent more than yesterday. Back up your intention with three specific actions like calling a friend, smiling more and doing something you love.
6 Treasure relationships
Investing time, energy and attention in your most important relationships will increase your happiness. A recent study confirms that having rich and satisfying social relationships is the key difference between people who are quite happy and those who are very happy.
7 Make time for fun
Most of us are so preoccupied with life’s chores that we can sometimes forget to enjoy ourselves. Make a commitment to having fun. See your best friends and make time for your hobbies and passions.
8 Count your blessings
Keep a gratitude journal. Write down at least three things a day you are either thankful for, made you smile or genuinely inspired you.
9 Have faith
People who have a strong spiritual faith report greater than average happiness. Research shows practices like meditation, prayer, yoga and tai chi can help you to de-stress and feel more balanced. Most importantly, a spiritual faith encourages us to look past our individual egos.
10 Look after yourself
To be happy you must never compromise on your health. Getting enough exercise and sleep and eating a healthy diet will improve your mood and energy levels.
To order Be Happy by Robert Holden (Hay House, £9.99) with free UK delivery, call 0871 988 8367 (10p/minute from BT landlines) with your card details or send a cheque payable to Express Newspapers to: The Express Bookshop, PO Box 200, Falmouth TR11 4WJ or order via expressbookshop.com
Friday, 1 January 2010
365 Gratitudes
On January 1st 2009 I made my first entry in a journal called 365 Gratitudes. One of my new year’s resolutions to myself was to make a daily entry of “one-gratitude-per-day” for a calendar year. Why? Because I wanted to experience the power of gratitude and how it might affect my life, my relationships, and my ideas about happiness, success, and abundance. Just now, with a few hours to go before mid-night on December 31st, I made my final entry for the year.
365 Gratitudes, as I like to call it, has been a challenging and enlightening experiment. The challenging bit was maintaining the discipline of setting aside 10 minutes a day to record my daily entry. Finding 10 minutes out of every 1440 minutes sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? I did okay for the most part, but sometimes I would slip, and suddenly I was having to think back over four or five days. What happened? Where had I been? How could I not find 10 minutes to stop and be grateful?!
I have engaged in many gratitude-related exercises over the years, and enjoyed them all for the most part, but none have been as confronting and beneficial as this one. I would recommend wholeheartedly that you try this experiment for yourself. 365 Gratitudes has given me a deeper appreciation for the power of gratitude. I have learned that gratitude is much more than just a positive attitude or a nice idea; it is a spiritual practice that can transform your perception of who you are and how you experience the world. Gratitude teaches you how to live.
Here are ten lessons I’ve learned about the power of gratitude having done my 365 Gratitudes.
Gratitude is a spiritual compass: Practising gratitude daily helps you to stay on course with your life-journey and with the essence of who you are.
Gratitude is a training in vision: Being willing to see each and every situation and encounter through the eyes of gratitude helps you to see possibilities that you would otherwise be blind to.
Gratitude helps you to connect: Gratitude creates a deeper intimacy and oneness with life. It’s impossible to feel truly grateful and lonely at the same time.
Gratitude is from the heart: When you remember to be grateful, you also remember to live from your heart. Gratitude helps you to love your life more, and also to be a more loving person.
Gratitude is a healer: Being willing to be grateful for everything helps you to handle everything better. Gratitude is a willingness to see the gift in everything, eventually.
Gratitude teaches you what is real: The more you practice gratitude, the clearer you become about the truth of your life, and what is truly sacred to you.
Gratitude helps you to feel safe: Gratitude gives you a basic trust that you really do live in a friendly universe. Gratitude gives you faith that every life-event, no matter what it looks like, is ultimately for your highest purpose.
Gratitude is a key to happiness: Gratitude shows you that the grass beneath your feet is greener than you think. Gratitude teaches you that happiness is always now.
Gratitude is a NOW thing: Gratitude helps you to enjoy your life as it happens. Gratitude has a spirit of immediacy that forces you to make contact with what is, right now, right here.
Gratitude helps you to be present: The more you practice gratitude, the more alive you feel. Less often do you get lost in modes of “doing” and “going,” and “chasing” and “waiting.” Gratitude helps you to be in your life.
365 Gratitudes, as I like to call it, has been a challenging and enlightening experiment. The challenging bit was maintaining the discipline of setting aside 10 minutes a day to record my daily entry. Finding 10 minutes out of every 1440 minutes sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? I did okay for the most part, but sometimes I would slip, and suddenly I was having to think back over four or five days. What happened? Where had I been? How could I not find 10 minutes to stop and be grateful?!
I have engaged in many gratitude-related exercises over the years, and enjoyed them all for the most part, but none have been as confronting and beneficial as this one. I would recommend wholeheartedly that you try this experiment for yourself. 365 Gratitudes has given me a deeper appreciation for the power of gratitude. I have learned that gratitude is much more than just a positive attitude or a nice idea; it is a spiritual practice that can transform your perception of who you are and how you experience the world. Gratitude teaches you how to live.
Here are ten lessons I’ve learned about the power of gratitude having done my 365 Gratitudes.
Gratitude is a spiritual compass: Practising gratitude daily helps you to stay on course with your life-journey and with the essence of who you are.
Gratitude is a training in vision: Being willing to see each and every situation and encounter through the eyes of gratitude helps you to see possibilities that you would otherwise be blind to.
Gratitude helps you to connect: Gratitude creates a deeper intimacy and oneness with life. It’s impossible to feel truly grateful and lonely at the same time.
Gratitude is from the heart: When you remember to be grateful, you also remember to live from your heart. Gratitude helps you to love your life more, and also to be a more loving person.
Gratitude is a healer: Being willing to be grateful for everything helps you to handle everything better. Gratitude is a willingness to see the gift in everything, eventually.
Gratitude teaches you what is real: The more you practice gratitude, the clearer you become about the truth of your life, and what is truly sacred to you.
Gratitude helps you to feel safe: Gratitude gives you a basic trust that you really do live in a friendly universe. Gratitude gives you faith that every life-event, no matter what it looks like, is ultimately for your highest purpose.
Gratitude is a key to happiness: Gratitude shows you that the grass beneath your feet is greener than you think. Gratitude teaches you that happiness is always now.
Gratitude is a NOW thing: Gratitude helps you to enjoy your life as it happens. Gratitude has a spirit of immediacy that forces you to make contact with what is, right now, right here.
Gratitude helps you to be present: The more you practice gratitude, the more alive you feel. Less often do you get lost in modes of “doing” and “going,” and “chasing” and “waiting.” Gratitude helps you to be in your life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
