Authentic Relationships - Ben Renshaw

I’ve just celebrated my 15^th wedding anniversary. Not bad given that I once thought I wouldn’t get married until my 40^th birthday which took place a few years ago! I’d made the decision not to marry until then due to high levels of scepticism around marriage as a result of watching my own parents’ relationship fall apart. The main reason I believe they didn’t make it was an inability to be truly authentic with each other. In fact as a result of all my work on relationships over the last 25 years I  would go as far as saying that the biggest single factor for most relationship difficulties is that we’re unable to be real.

I’ve identified 3 key steps, which support any relationship – business, home, or friendship in becoming more authentic:

1.    Real relationships start with your intent to be real. There is a natural power that comes as a result of committing to a genuine intent to be real. This intent becomes a magnet drawing you in the direction you want to go. The only way that you will truly experience authenticity in relationships is to be authentic yourself. 

2.    Be willing to see others differently in order to experience more real relationships. We often get a fixed mindset in the way we see others. This is not smart. It becomes self-fulfilling and we can fail to see who they really are. Entertain the idea that every encounter with someone is a new experience, as if you were meeting for the first time. Being open to possibility creates new possibilities. 

3.    There is a truth in a relationship waiting to be discovered. Every relationship has a purpose that goes beyond the naked eye. There is a heart and soul that exists within each relationship, which once discovered creates new levels of meaning and happiness.

My workshop on Authentic Relationships, June 15^th will be your chance to learn and apply these timeless principles. CLICK HERE for the flyer. 

Being a Leader - Robert Holden

For the last two years the Success Intelligence team has been running a leadership program for 1,000 people.  Today, Ben Renshaw and I are facilitating our sixth event for these leaders.  Leadership is evolving now.  One of the key messages of our program is:  leadership is no longer the prerogative of a few; it is the responsibility of us all.  

Some people switch off when they see the word “Leadership”.  And yet, real leadership is relevant to everyone.  In essence, leadership isn’t just about titles, positions, pay grades, and a job of work; it’s much more interesting than that.   Leadership is about how you show up; living from your heart; and allowing yourself to be inspired.   Leadership is what helps you to “take a lead” in your life so as to create a life you want to live.  Here are three more thoughts for your consideration:

1.    Success is being yourself:  How you show up – in your relationships, in your conversations, in your work, in your life – has a tangible influence on how you experience things.   How do you feel about the idea that success is being yourself?  The law of attraction begins with an understanding that you attract what you are being.  Daring to be yourself is the key to attracting great things in your life.

2.    Success is being the goal: Leadership begins with an awareness that the world is an effect; not just a cause.   The world would not be the way it is, if we were not being the way we are.  “Being the goal” means you have to be what you want.  For example, if you want more love, be more loving; if you want deeper friendships; commit to being even more of a friend.   Whatever you want, be it.

3.    Success is being even more of who you are: What you bring to a situation is what you are experiencing.  If you think something is missing in a specific situation (a relationship, a conversation, a conflict) – it might be you. To attract more of what you truly want you have to be willing to be even more of who you really are.  Where, when and with whom could you apply this principle in your life?

Going for Gold in 2012 - Ben Renshaw

I’ve just returned from six weeks down under in Australia and New Zealand. As my wife Veronica is from Auckland it has become an annual ritual, which I can’t live without! It gives me the time and space to recover from the year that’s been, and to set myself up for the year to come. One of the highlights on this trip was reading Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson – the exclusive biography. A gripping story which I couldn’t put it down (tough when you’ve got 3 kids!) Filled with countless pearls of wisdom, one of the points made which really rung true was the following:

One of Job's great strengths was knowing how to focus. "Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do," he said. "That's true for companies, and it's true for products."

I love this idea of focus as each year I decide on a theme, which becomes my guiding mantra over the days and weeks to come. 2011 was about freedom as I set out on my own personal inquiry to deepen my understanding and experience of such an illusive quest. I have decided that 2012 is all about enjoyment. In the year of our London Olympics I am going to challenge myself to make this year my best year yet and to enjoy everything I do, all of the time - a big stretch.

To kick-start this focus on 10th February I’m running Your Personal Best 2012 with my great friends Robert Holden and Avril Carson. It’s our annual start-the-year event and will be filled with rich and creative conversations to help you go for gold in your work, life and relationships. Love to see you there. Ben

Real Leadership by Ben Renshaw

“Leadership is not a job; it’s a wiliness to be more of who you already are.” Ben Renshaw

What’s your leadership philosophy? Do you think leadership is simply a job grade, role, or title? I find it fascinating that most people I coach in leadership positions have not stopped long enough to work out what real leadership is. Having now run leadership development programmes intensively over the last few years I have arrived at 5 key principles, which I believe are at the heart of real leadership:

1. Having a clear identity.

2. Defining an inspiring vision.

3. Building authentic relationships.

4. Creating great performance.

5. Discovering true meaning.

I recently put this into practice as a result of working with a great person who has just stepped into a dream role. They had a reputation for being a brilliant thinker, however would leave most people feeling incompetent and anxious as a result of their investigative style of working. Our initial coaching was designed to help them think about who they really are, as ‘the only way you can really lead is to be real.’ They then defined an inspirational vision, which helped them to go beyond simply ticking off their ‘to-do’ list. This has allowed them to develop far more genuine relationships, and I know in time will create better performance in their team. The icing on the cake has been their willingness to recognise that life is too short just to have a job. They now get that ‘real leadership is knowing in every moment you can make a real difference.’

Real Leadership Workshop with Ben Renshaw

October 14, 2011

CLICK HERE TO BOOK

Email: info@successintelligence.com

Loveability - 3-Day Workshop by Lizzie Prior - my Experience.

I am privileged to be a member of the Happiness Project team - this means that I get to play my part in support of Robert Holden realising his vision for the public events that he presents. My main job is organising all the materials that we use on the events and a lovely part of my role in this team is that I get a sneaky peak of what we are going to be doing on the workshops as I design and prepare what we’ll all need to do the exercises.

On the 8/9/10 July 2011, we spent 3 days in a beautiful conversation about LOVE in the form of Robert's most recent creation: Loveability - How to Love and Be Loved. I can’t think of anything more interesting to spend 3 days doing and knowing the brilliance of every other event Robert has ever done, I knew we were in for a treat.

I am always deeply touched by our Happiness Team and how we gently support Robert and the group of delegates who have chosen to be with us on our events. We have done many events now and we have developed a seamless way of solving problems, being prepared, responding and working together to create truly loving environments on each of our programs. I am hugely grateful to be part of this team and to be meeting such lovely people who attend our courses.

One of my favourite exercises on the workshop was a repeating question – where you are invited to answer a question over and over again to inquire more deeply into your experience. The question we had to ask was: How do you know when you love someone ?

The answers started coming very easily to me, and as we were asking again and again, I discovered that it’s a two way thing. When I described the feeling of loving someone, referencing the people I am already in relationship with, I then identified what it means to be a loving person to everyone else in the world. For example, I said ‘I know I love someone when I look at them and don’t feel like I want to change them’. This had me see, at the end of the exercise, with a full list of how I know when I love someone, that I had come up with a recipe for being a loving person and one part of this recipe is that I can look at everyone in this world and the most loving thing I could do would be to accept everyone just as they are.

The freedom this brings to me when I am relaxed and gentle enough to allow it to land is wonderful!

The next Loveability 3-Day workshop with Robert is on 2/3/4 December this year. Click Here for more details.

Authentic Relationships by Ben Renshaw.

I’m sitting here in Sydney, overlooking the Harbour Bridge in glorious sunshine in-between visits to Singapore and Hong Kong running leadership programs for InterContinental Hotels. It’s rare for me to have a bit of time and space, as normally a Sunday morning is filled with my 3 gorgeous kiddies demanding pancakes and play. As I take a moment to reflect upon what has led me to this point in my life there is no doubt that the most significant factor has been relationships. My marriage to Veronica. My partnership with Robert Holden and The Happiness Project team. My family and friends. My clients. It’s simple really: great relationships = a great life. However, simple does not mean easy.

If I stripped away all the complexity surrounding relationships and distilled it down to the essence I would say, our ability to be ourselves in relationships is the single most important factor to develop great relationships. Authenticity gives our relationships the best chance to grow, strengthen and flourish.

In my forthcoming workshop on Authentic Relationships we’ll be taking a deep dive on some of the key elements of relationship success including gaining clarity about the real function of relationships, understanding the key barriers to growing relationships and tapping into the truth about relationship possibilities. In the meantime ask yourself, ‘What are the benefits of letting my relationships be even more authentic?’

Coaching Happiness - Is it Possible? by Ian Lynch

One of the hottest topics to hit the news in recent weeks has been on the subject
of making Happiness part of how we define the success of our nation. This is
no small thing.

Until recently, happiness was often treated as a touchy-feely subject by the media
and the government, fun for a newspaper or TV story, but no more than a filler item.
Against such a back-drop, The Happiness Project championed the need to have conversations
about happiness, for individuals, for relationships, and for true work and life success.

As part of the Happiness Project, Dr Robert Holden created an 8-week program to teach people to become happier. In 1996 the BBC aired the QED documentary "How to Be Happy" which charted the progress of several of the program's delegates. Seen by millions, this successful documentary was also part of a live Oprah Television Show in 2007 with Robert as the main feature.

In 2011 the work of The Happiness Project continues to shape thinking on how we can all help each other to be happier, and to create real meaning and success in our lives. Together with Success Intelligence, The Happiness Project has inspired countless thousands of people in learning tools and exercises to help them create happier and more meaningful ways of living and working.

Is it possible to become happier? Thankfully, yes it is. Is it possible to coach each other on how to become happier? Yes it is!

The Happiness Project has recently completed a one week course on coaching people
who wish to help themselves and others to be happier. The outcome? A stunning success. Based on 17 years of running a program famously tested by independent scientists and,
hailed as a 'genuine fast-track to happiness', the course gave 60 people the space, the opportunity and the exercises, to get clear on what happiness is for them, what supports it, what nurtures it and what sustains it.

Such is the success of this program, it is now going to be run for the very first time outside of the UK in New York this November, in conjunction with Hay House (Robert's publisher). Is this program for everyone? I would say it is for those who wish to experience a deeper, lasting joy and, to be able to share it with others.

What would you gain from joining this program? Well here are a couple of reflections
Kay Cook - Coaching Happiness Testimonial at www.YouTube.com
Louise Magee - Coaching Happiness Testimonial at www.YouTube.com
Emma Cousens - Coaching Happiness Testimonial at www.YouTube.com
Annie Blampied - Coaching Happiness Testimonial at www.YouTube.com

As cynical as we may be at first, times are definitely changing, and the first fledgling steps
are being taken by both Action for Happiness and the UK Government in conjunction with The Office for National Statistics, to make happiness a metric and a compass for our society. In addition, there is a London Conference on How to be Happy, on Saturday May 7th, where Robert will be the keynote speaker. Happiness is now here at last!

Ultimately, your own happiness is your gift to the world, and in sharing your happiness with others, you help to bring joy, peace, fun and love to the world and thus, truly make a difference.

May you be happy.