Authentic Relationships - Ben Renshaw

I’ve just celebrated my 15^th wedding anniversary. Not bad given that I once thought I wouldn’t get married until my 40^th birthday which took place a few years ago! I’d made the decision not to marry until then due to high levels of scepticism around marriage as a result of watching my own parents’ relationship fall apart. The main reason I believe they didn’t make it was an inability to be truly authentic with each other. In fact as a result of all my work on relationships over the last 25 years I  would go as far as saying that the biggest single factor for most relationship difficulties is that we’re unable to be real.

I’ve identified 3 key steps, which support any relationship – business, home, or friendship in becoming more authentic:

1.    Real relationships start with your intent to be real. There is a natural power that comes as a result of committing to a genuine intent to be real. This intent becomes a magnet drawing you in the direction you want to go. The only way that you will truly experience authenticity in relationships is to be authentic yourself. 

2.    Be willing to see others differently in order to experience more real relationships. We often get a fixed mindset in the way we see others. This is not smart. It becomes self-fulfilling and we can fail to see who they really are. Entertain the idea that every encounter with someone is a new experience, as if you were meeting for the first time. Being open to possibility creates new possibilities. 

3.    There is a truth in a relationship waiting to be discovered. Every relationship has a purpose that goes beyond the naked eye. There is a heart and soul that exists within each relationship, which once discovered creates new levels of meaning and happiness.

My workshop on Authentic Relationships, June 15^th will be your chance to learn and apply these timeless principles. CLICK HERE for the flyer. 

Being a Leader - Robert Holden

For the last two years the Success Intelligence team has been running a leadership program for 1,000 people.  Today, Ben Renshaw and I are facilitating our sixth event for these leaders.  Leadership is evolving now.  One of the key messages of our program is:  leadership is no longer the prerogative of a few; it is the responsibility of us all.  

Some people switch off when they see the word “Leadership”.  And yet, real leadership is relevant to everyone.  In essence, leadership isn’t just about titles, positions, pay grades, and a job of work; it’s much more interesting than that.   Leadership is about how you show up; living from your heart; and allowing yourself to be inspired.   Leadership is what helps you to “take a lead” in your life so as to create a life you want to live.  Here are three more thoughts for your consideration:

1.    Success is being yourself:  How you show up – in your relationships, in your conversations, in your work, in your life – has a tangible influence on how you experience things.   How do you feel about the idea that success is being yourself?  The law of attraction begins with an understanding that you attract what you are being.  Daring to be yourself is the key to attracting great things in your life.

2.    Success is being the goal: Leadership begins with an awareness that the world is an effect; not just a cause.   The world would not be the way it is, if we were not being the way we are.  “Being the goal” means you have to be what you want.  For example, if you want more love, be more loving; if you want deeper friendships; commit to being even more of a friend.   Whatever you want, be it.

3.    Success is being even more of who you are: What you bring to a situation is what you are experiencing.  If you think something is missing in a specific situation (a relationship, a conversation, a conflict) – it might be you. To attract more of what you truly want you have to be willing to be even more of who you really are.  Where, when and with whom could you apply this principle in your life?

Going for Gold in 2012 - Ben Renshaw

I’ve just returned from six weeks down under in Australia and New Zealand. As my wife Veronica is from Auckland it has become an annual ritual, which I can’t live without! It gives me the time and space to recover from the year that’s been, and to set myself up for the year to come. One of the highlights on this trip was reading Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson – the exclusive biography. A gripping story which I couldn’t put it down (tough when you’ve got 3 kids!) Filled with countless pearls of wisdom, one of the points made which really rung true was the following:

One of Job's great strengths was knowing how to focus. "Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do," he said. "That's true for companies, and it's true for products."

I love this idea of focus as each year I decide on a theme, which becomes my guiding mantra over the days and weeks to come. 2011 was about freedom as I set out on my own personal inquiry to deepen my understanding and experience of such an illusive quest. I have decided that 2012 is all about enjoyment. In the year of our London Olympics I am going to challenge myself to make this year my best year yet and to enjoy everything I do, all of the time - a big stretch.

To kick-start this focus on 10th February I’m running Your Personal Best 2012 with my great friends Robert Holden and Avril Carson. It’s our annual start-the-year event and will be filled with rich and creative conversations to help you go for gold in your work, life and relationships. Love to see you there. Ben